May
20
The Indian National Fetish of a Sport – Cricket; has come a full circle, not just metaphorically but in actuality.
It makes a very interesting case to put under the viewing glass so to speak. Pun intended. A sport that originated as an entertainment format, mostly popular amongst our Imperial Masters; infact one of the chief contributions of ‘The Raj’ to the nation, has returned to its roots – entertainment.
In the olden days of The Raj, we would have Gora Sahibs - settled, visiting, delegating; their days through the warmth (both social and climatic) of the subcontinent. They would have the Bhooras and the Kacharas and the Bhuwans all around them spend their time working deriliously through the heat while they would play a little, chit chat a little, screw a little (probably a lot), drink lemonade and repeat. Bliss. Entertainment at the very core.
As colonials however, the British did great good by first setting a legacy, then leting it permeate so deep into the society that inherently all their colonies became second Homes of the Queen. Soon we had nations playing it… and Not a couple of thousand square miles of land but a Full subcontinent, and just as many more - captured by frenzy of what their Gora Sahib’s did, we all picked up a Bat and a Ball and there we were! Now it just so happens that as a race, we’ve always been decidedly dedicated and serious about our stuff… If it be entertainment, then so be it! Nothing wrong with it… just what we are; a bunch of very serious people.
Of course, no master could tolerate their slaves bettering them! I mean, how sad does Captain Russell Look when Bhuwan Beats Him! Bhuwan – you did bad, you agitated the Brits. Come on Man! He had a potential girlfriend watching and you made him look bad… Not Good Manners. But more on that later.;
Enter Cricket as a sport.
So, all the cricket playing nations got into it – this time as a sport. With zest. With Vengeance. And Cricket became not just a sport but a passion so unparalleled that it belittled every other sport. Before we knew it, we were doing it all over the place. In gullies, in little rooms, on roads, in schools… every where you could have space to swing two arms. Naturally, this does to Cricket what Brazil does to Football! Everyone makes the sport sportier, more passionate, more involved. Streets would run empty when there was a big sporting rivalry! Nothing above Pride in this country after all.
Enter Me. And I inherited all of it. Before i knew how to tie my shoes, i knew how to swing a Bat. Maybe not well, but thats the entire Brain thing inside my head, which is oh so obvious and needs no mention… it had to be balanced by little less skill for playing Cricket. So then I did what 98% of India, that plays mediocrely does – Watch cricket. Live Cricket. Worship Cricket.
Down the line, actually before this entire scheme of me coming in and spoiling the fun; there were people who were born with such prowess that they knew they were special at the sport. That’s when it became a game. A Game where there were a few Good Men. And wherever there are Good Men, there is bound to be some stakes… In a fast commercializing world, all games were HUGE pots of Moolah! That was when some people realised, the wise ones ofcourse that people are so emotionally involved with it that they would invest moolah! And thus started Betting in the game, on the players, over the teams, fighting for the winner!
Now, i was a kid then but i wasn’t actually Naive to the entire scheme, but then I wasn’t averse to the idea of people making moolah over some thing that i actually worshipped; Pujaaris do that anyways! But then there was the prospect of More Money – by controlling the Betting. eh? Fix it, man!
And fine men, men i respected, those I devoted 9 hours just to watch play came on this route. I was 15, I guess. Some retired, some died mysteriously, the others just stumbled to appear clean. But the facade of naivete was broken. I gave up this religion.
Then there was a time of dismal interest in the game, general dishevelment I guess, there are bound to have been more like me who turned from staunchly religious to agnostic as regarded their stand on cricket – after all, why spend 9 hours on something that someone already knows all about! Naah…
Then there was Mandira Bedi. And Her… lets just say Sarees. For those who realised, that was Glam, entering Cricket. Cricket became more than a game, it became a TRP war… and all is fair in love and war.
Circa 2008. Enter IPL. Cricket goes back to where it came from. A form of entertainment; unparalleled as a moolah generating factory; unequivocally strong as a TRP Hoarder; Dazzlingly glamourous to the ever-willing-for-titilation audience.
Entertainment – Sport – Passion – Religion – Game – War – Entertainment. Everything that has a Beginning… Has an end. (Thank you Wachowsi Brothers)
May
19
“And if you say this life ain’t good enough; I would give my world to life you up; I could change my life to better suit your mood… Cause you are SO SMOOTH!”
I’m Back… No Bangs, just silently… discreetly.
And it has begun with loads of new pics upped on Flickr.
Keep a watch for the fun on this space.
Dec
21
One of the best pieces of conversation in the series:Sally: You know what ‘I’ll cook’ says; it says ‘lets have sex’.Susan: No, that would be ‘Come and spend the night with me’.Sally: ’Come and spend the night with me’ says ‘lets have sex’; ‘I’ll Cook’ says ‘lets have sex & I’ll Cater’Susan: Sally….Sally: Susan, you are offering this man food & sex in the same place; if there’s something to read in the loo, he may never leave.<Susan & Sally enter the Bar; Jeff, Steve & Patrick in conversation>Jeff: Okay, have you thought through your foreplay yet?Sally (whispers): They know about that?Steve: What do you mean foreplay?Jeff: What do you think I mean? I mean, where exactly do you take your socks off! My advice is to get them off right after your shoes and before your trousers. That’s the Sock Gap!! Miss it and suddenly you are a naked man in socks. No self respecting woman will ever let a naked man in socks do the squealchy with her!
Dec
21
Watched the recent science fiction movie I am Legend.Some how, our predictions about the future are always gloomy. It’s like no one looks forward to a better tomorrow. We are collectively certain of our doom at our own summon; like we would rub a lamp hoping for a Genie and in all probability we wouldn’t get a genie but would end up with a demon at our behest.It’s interesting how the collective cognition of the species can be looking down so mockingly at its own capabilities.Anyways, back to Science Fiction; which anyways has been the flavour of the cinema, atleast in the recent past. Fantasy, is the genre that i would rather call it; saves us the trouble of having to think of a word for Harry Potter, Narnia… what have you Mumbo Jumbo. And the favourite cause of apocalypse are Viruses that we will ourselves mutate & then be rendered completely helpless against them. Focus has shifted away from computers & Artificial intelligence. This implies either of two: we now gauge our own incapabilities better & see that as too far off; or we undermine the potential of a self evolving schema.The funny part is, if its the latter, what does that comment on us?
Dec
09
Have seriously changed. I remember spending my childhood playing Monopoly (& it’s Indian Version – Business/Vyapaar); Scotland Yard; Scrabble… The first time I played a game on a computer was probably when I was in my mid teens – Wolf 3D. In my late teens I did graduate to a compulsive ‘digital’ gamer and remained that through out my college life. Even after life became busy with work & shit; I still try to go back & play me some good games whenever I can.But this thread of thought started last weekend when Patel, Dey, Makka (Read three weirdoes) & I (read four weirdoes) went out in an act of desperation to find an intriguing, relaxing yet stimulating way to spend time; and ended up playing Monopoly for 12 hours. We introduced our own quirky ‘mods’ to the game, the details of which I shall conveniently reserve for another post sometime after i’ve had more thought.What bothers me is that these immensely fun Board Games (along with several others) are no longer of any kids interest. These games were structured along the idea of Family Entertainment & did they do the job! Today the only paradigm of gaming that I see is the digital one; age no bar, sex no bar. The wierd games of the early childhood that the elderly used to concoct to keep children busy; The Board games of yesteryears; The idea of bringing in a group of people & letting them be in control of the game while having fun: Gone.More on this when I have structured my thoughts.
Dec
09
It’s not far, we all know it.My brother has been pestering me for the last two weeks to go over a project report of his and when I finally did today; it turned out the entire project was made from one single source : Wikipedia. Together with Google, they are this generation’s official information source. I have nothing against either, just that the convenience that the W3 has brought to the student life is something that I see deteriorating the need to research. What’s next? Teachers ’scrapping’ Homework to Kids on Orkut???
Nov
17
Began Watching the addictive TV series Prison Break (I’m outdated all right) and upon finishing it (late runner, but i do go for a quick kill), I got so dragged into the concept of ‘The Company’, I did a small time travel to discussions with Shiv about the idea of a Panopticon during my junior year (or perhaps sophomore, doesn’t matter; after quite a few years, the memory is still vivid).
“The sentiment of the invisible omniscent” (beautiful words, i’m borrowing from Anon. (read Wiki 
)), as put by the Jeremy Bentham; was brought into our lunch time talks while discussing the layout of my college campus with respect to the placement and the design of the Administration Block. The Director’s cabin is perched atop the Admin block with Blackened Glass Windows. And the idea that he potentially could watch all of us but not the other way round, was laughably scary; the similarity to a prison only too uncanny 
Back to the Construction of the idea of ‘The Company’. I have, for long pondered over the possiblity, what if all idea of power in the modern Democratic world is but a mere facade? We have speculations about it everywhere. Mr Singh acts wierd and most are discussing if Ms. g (i reserve the capitlised G for her mother in law, sorry megalomania over beauty, personal preference for respect) had a cold burger with damp fries and warm soda. Miyaan Musharraf stutters and you wonder if GWB Jr lost a game of Golf. (I don’t even wanna get started with what i think when GWB is acting up.)
Somehow i sometimes get the feeling that all the world politics is a Hoax and we are all just dancing to the tunes of an invisible influence; a greater force, one that operates like that Panopticon.
But what above even all of that? What about beyond Gossip and speculation? What about the economies of the planet? Could There be someone who’s predeciding the way the Yen should go? Where the British GDP goes to? The Japanese Cars in US v/s those in India?From my experience thus far in life; either this axiomates the existence of God or there is a Panopticon somewhere we can’t see. All puppets gotta to have a puppet master…
Any whacky ideas in this line?
Nov
08
There’s Big money to be made in the Indian Coffee Market and the Amalgamated Bean Company is the first to realise this. While ABC always had a variety of beans and an interesting concoction of brews to offer both from their own plantations and from other imports, the indian consumer wasn’t so coffee wise. Put simply, coffee drinking isn’t a culture that is intrinsic to us like the Israelis or French and there are few connosieurs; much like America not too far ago. But Cafe Coffee Day or CCD, is changing things fast. And the way they are doing it is reminiscent of the manner in which Starbucks did it – by creating a lifestyle.
So lets start with Starbucks and US in those days when people were growing Sleepless in Seattle because of Meg Ryan and well, caffeine. Starbucks realised that there is big money to be made and it was the first to respond with lifestyle chains. Of course, with Americans and Indians, Movie Stars define Life Style Benchmarks & with a little help from Meg, this is where they’ve come.
Though i respect what Starbucks created, I must also confess that they aren’t the best of coffee makers and this point is subtly put to rest by the poor performance of the chain in places which have cafe’s as pre-established businesses. Consider Israel, they don’t have a single store in the bustiling metropolis of Tel Aviv that boasts of 600+ Cafes! Or Take France where the average Starbucks drink costs you lesser than what it would in any of the old cafes; the exact opposite of the US. Back to my first premise, therefore, Starbucks success is more lifestyle than coffee.
CCD, started a few years back, being the second one to realise the potential moolah in this business. Although the first one was Barista, a chain now owned by the Italian Super-chain – Lavazza, which it bought over from Sterling Infotech (wtf? yeah, me too) for about 480 Cr (about 120 Mil USD); all they could come up with was mugs. Now, You wanna make a lifestyle, you gotta do better than Mugs!
Long story short, Barista spoilt its huge advantage of being the first one to start to CCD; a competitor who didn’t miss the opportunity. Perhaps a catalyst to their phenomenal growth was the fact that they have a good coffee to back up with it. Given Lavazza’s takeover, I guessed that Barista would begin serving better coffee, and it had when I last visited them but I still didn’t see the makings of a lifestyle.
Contrast this to CCD, which has mimicked Starbucks so Well: All that has changed is who they partner with, which too has been largely governed by who is the best bet in the Indian Market as a partner. Snapple (drink if you don’t want coffee), UniBic (cookies), Airtel (WiFi)… they’ve structured it all, and they haven’t forgotten Coffee. And with the chain opening up a cafe almost every working day of the year around the country, Starbucks better make that move fast or it may be too late.
Nov
06
Advice from the most unusual of people can sometimes be the most interesting. I was at my optician, seeking a new pair of spectacles. Now he is way too senior for me to strike up a casual conversation so i was sticking to the normal stuff when my Mom bustled into the store, visibly distraught – a traffic cop had booked her for parking in a no-parking zone. Now the parking situation in India is so tough in our prime cities because of the huge number of vehicles. (It is, across the globe in all major cities, atleast downtown, but the scene in Indian cities gets complicated by the non-existence of Driving, let alone parking, Etiquettes.)
To this, Khanna Uncle (my optician) said, it’s all because of the Banks. And i couldn’t resist but prod further.
“Banks, uncle?”.
“Yeah, you got that right; Banks.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that because of the banks, we have a huge credit scene today. The indian market is growing at such pace that they give out loans to anybody and everybody for a dime, nickle, cent each! If you give out a loan to people who don’t know shit about driving, and they all end up buying a vehicle each; how many are supposed to be educated enough to understand these etiquettes. Besides this is making the number of vehicles multiply at a level greater than at which the other infrastructure can expand.”
WoW! I was spellbound by the depth of his argument. He should be in the later part of the third quarter of life and am sure isn’t very well researched on the topic per say. But i daresay that the point made sense.
